Friday, June 13, 2008

Sense of Loss

Today I lost my wedding band. I have had this simple gold band for nearly ten years. In today's world that seems like a very long time, but yet... I certainly do not feel like I have been married FOREVER.

I never had an engagement ring for a couple of reasons. First of all we were in college and beyond poor and I was taking so many art classes where a diamond would really get in the way and I sorta liked the Jewish tradition where all couples come before God equal with only simple bands. Marriage is a covenant with each other, but above all with God and the simpleness of us all coming before God as equals really spoke to me. Perhaps even more so because I didn't want to wear a ring that every time I would look at it I would see a dollar value and not the love behind it.

John and I went out the week before our wedding and bought simple bands together. They were cheap. I think they were actually plated gold and not even solid. We really didn't and don't care.

John lost his ring once years ago out in a muddy field in Texas while he was away eating worms and bugs. I kid not. He didn't have a ring for a year or two and on our fifth wedding anniversary I bought John a new band. He hasn't lost it yet.

Today I lost my ring in our garden out at the farm. I was putting brown paper bags down and covering them with straw to prevent weeds. I am not sure if I lost it under the bags or on top of the bags, or just somewhere nearby. The straw is about the same color as my ring. I didn't bother to search... the rain started to fall and the search was already looking fairly futile.

I feel naked, but I am not distressed... perhaps because our love is much deeper than the rings even the sweet gold plated rings that were picked out ten years ago. My covenant still stands between God and between John.

Perhaps a golden tomato will grow this summer.


applesofgold said...

My husband is unable to wear his band in his line of work....he would end up slicing his finger off on a fast rope jumping out of a helicopter or something. He's been wearing his wedding band woven into his watch band. It's not visible to anyone, except for the person that knows where to look for it. He doesn't need a ring on his finger to remember the covenant that he took before God to love and to cherish.

I was unable to wear my wedding ring towards the end of my pregnancy, and I remember how naked I felt without it on, but I do know that I didn't need a piece of jewelry to know whom I had chosen to spend the rest of my life with.

On another note, thought of maybe asking around for a metal detector in your homeschool group? I bet there is a kid that has one. I hope you find it! But a golden tomato wouldn't be bad either!

susan said...

Sorry to hear about your lost ring. Would you eat the golden tomato if you found it?

Kristen said...

Interestingly, Kasha just found the "temporary" ring she wore before her wedding when her engagement ring and wedding band were being soldered together. She had given it to my aunt on her wedding day and it ended up lost. Where did she find it FOUR YEARS later? In my front yard, my grandparents old yard. After years of mowing, it was still there. Though it was only $12 from Wal-Mart, it had not tarnished or been damaged. She is now wearing it on her other hand as a reminder of where they started with their marriage.

Perhaps next year as you prepare the soil in the garden a little sparkle will catch your eye...or perhaps you too will discover the value at Wal-Mart. :)

Anonymous said...

when dad started doing electrical things at work he wasnt aloud to wear his wedding band. i wasnt awear of the work thing and one morning found his ring in the bathroom closet by this shaving cream ect. i was in some sorta shock b/c i've never seen dad w/o it! i had turned to him later that day and was like something wrong with your ring?! haha well its either that or he'd get a shocking result! goofy rings. while they are important in some ways they are also so rediculous. the way people talk about the bigger the better has always kinda rubbed me the wrong way. you and john have always made me think and realize that you dont need to have large to have something great together!

I Love You!

FHL said...

I'm sorry you lost your ring Anna. D lost his while we were on vacation about two years ago and although like yours, was just a simple inexpensive band, it was the meaning attached to it that made it hard. That being said, Apples...may have a good idea and I seem to remember B.P. (co-op) having mentioned a metal detector fun would that be for the kiddos to go on a treasure hunt at the farm!!! Might make for a fun day, even if it does turn out unsuccessful.


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