Saturday, June 6, 2009

forgiveness and baseball

Today I have felt the need to beg for forgiveness like I haven't felt in a long time. I had really let someone down in my life and I felt horrible.

This little person that I really let down was my son.

The boy of mine is an amazing kid... well he is to me and really that is what matters.

He loves sports and one of his favorite sports is baseball and we are well into that season, but because of the amazing amount of rain that we have had here five of his games have been canceled. He has only been able to play one game. ONE.

Everyday that he has had a game scheduled it has rained that day, or it has rained hard the night before and the field is flooded. He sits disappointed day after day knowing that with each pitter-patter of rain drops the season for one of his all time favorite sports is quickly flying away.

Yesterday and today were glorious, gorgeous days. The sun was bright, the sky was clear. We even checked the weather radar and we were in the safe zone. The games would happen today! The weather had finally smiled down on the little boy and he would get to swing that bat and throw that ball around with his friends.

The Girl had her game first at 10am and we went to that and had such fun, then the boy's game was at 1pm.

John wasn't sure that his game was at 1pm. During the girl's game he had overheard someone from the Boy's team commenting that they had to be back in just a half hour... at 11:30. So I double checked the schedule and checked it against the large white board that I use for all of our activities on the fridge. It said One O'clock in that nifty little square that I studied once more.

I made some lunch... fixed water bottles... did some gardening.

Finally I made sure the Boy was ready and we headed out. He ran across the field ahead of me with his batting helmet and bat and glove. He was SO excited that he was finally going to be able to play a game again. He had honestly waited weeks to be able to play a game.

On my way over, as I lugged the water and the camera and the snacks, I noticed that his team members were on their way to the parking lot.

All of them.

I stopped one family and confirmed that yes, his game WAS OVER. I am sure my eyes about fell out of my head... and my heart dropped.

What really did me in though was seeing my little boy, just moments ago so excited, now running towards me with his face crumpled with tears.

He ran towards me and I hugged him tight. I was a bit indignant. How could this have happened?! I was SO careful. Was my schedule paper a misprint?! I started looking for his coach, a good friend of mine, to figure out what had happened.

I found her and she smiled and waved to me. I met up with her and told her that I had double checked the schedule and all of that... she was puzzled and sorry and she pulled out the schedule and I pointed to the neat square where it said 1pm on Saturday the 13th. The problem that she quickly pointed out was that today was the 6th.


That was when I just looked at my son and he looked at me and I apologized about 100 times. I am not exaggerating. He had been waiting for weeks. I was looking at the wrong square everywhere. All day.

I brought him home and I apologized again and again and again. He seemed fine with it and really bounced back, but I felt horrible.

I offered to camp out and read as many books as he wanted. I offered to bake him cookies to take to his Sunday School class. I offered to paint him a picture of a Tiger for his room. I needed to do something for him to "earn" his forgiveness... which is silly, but I just felt so BLASTED GUILTY!

Finally I tossed them in swim suits and they played in water at the house, then I took them to the pool over on base where the water was freezing and they complained. It was not the best day here people... but we muddled through.

The good thing is that even when I mess things up that he has been yearning for, and I do mean yearning for, for this long... he was so quick and willing to forgive me.

There are many things that I would like to "fix" in my child's behavior, but frankly, I was proud of him today. I really missed the mark big time, but he got over it quickly and moved on quickly. Frankly, he moved on faster then I was able to move on.

He has four games this coming week. I told him that I would make sure that nothing else interfered with his games. I will hold back the clouds blast it!


Jen said...

Oh Anna! What a day you had. :-( I would have felt the same way - just as guilty and not able to forgive myself. I'm glad your little guy got over it and I'll pray for no rain this week! :-)

skissugar said...

oh no!! poor guy.. and poor mom!! (((hugs))) to you both! I have done that before and I soo know how you feel.

applesofgold said...

Gosh, and what a powerful lesson in your story....your son offered you complete forgiveness, and you didn't even need to EARN it! How awesome is God's forgiveness for us!

FHL said...

He's such a great kid!!! Hopefully we'll get in some of those games this week!


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