Sunday, February 28, 2010

i must write- it will be raw

A week ago my daughter was violently assaulted by an eight year old little boy. She was pushed down and pulled down. She was refused the right to leave the room. She cried for help and no one heard. She was pushed down onto the floor with a folded metal chair. She was cornered and threatened and then hit in the head with a large board. When she finally lay crying on the floor in the corner, the young boy ran from the room, shutting off the light and leaving her alone.

My brain is having problems taking that picture from my head. The picture of my baby, alone in the dark, crying. She is cowering on the floor. Did she pass out? I do not know. Did she call my name? Did she feel deserted and so alone? She does have a concussion so I do know that her pain there is the dark was not minor, but was severe.

As parents we are to protect them, but we can't always. That is a hard thing to learn it is easier to say, harder to understand. In places you feel safe you are not always safe. With people you feel safe with you are not always safe.

She has had some bad dreams... she has dreamed of robots attacking her and trying to kill her. She has had dreams of cars running over her legs. She has talked to her precious Bear about a girl hitting him in the head and has talked of getting him a wheelchair in case he is hurt. She played pretend jousting with him yesterday and Bear got hurt and then she spent the rest of the day taking care of her sweet Bear. Doctoring him and giving him medicine and just loving him so sweet.

Last night I made a mistake. I tried to take her to church. She didn't want to go, but I thought it would be good for her to go. She loves the people there, she hugs the pastor, talks with her friends, hugs her teachers, helps me serve pizza and sodas.

Last night she laid on me during services. Snuggling close. She went to class happily but didn't remain happy. She cried off and on during class, hiding in a little corner so that others wouldn't see her. It was all too much, too soon. I didn't realize. She has so much fear that right now she doesn't understand.

It is all still so surreal to me.

9 comments:

D said...

We are praying for you all, Anna.

Matt & Elizabeth said...

Hi Anna,
I'm so sorry this happened. I just wanted to let you know that I'll be praying for you and your daughter, that you both would experience Jesus' love and peace.

Elizabeth
(friend of Susan & Brian)

FHL said...

Love you and your sweet girl.

Praying.

Anna said...

i cannot imagine. i know you dont know me, but i have one daughter and 2 more on the way. i cannot fathom the helplessness you must feel. please please consider getting her someone to talk to, maybe a counselor? i know you are doing everything possible to help her deal with this horrible situation. both you and her are in our prayers.

Anonymous said...

You do not know...but I am a friend of M....what to do...as a female there is always thatfear of someone hurting you that you dont know because you dont hav ethe strengh to ever come them...place her in a karate class or self defense...I know that it may not be the answer but she must learn to always stick up for herself and protect herself...especially becuase you can not be everywhere with her... praying for your family.

Nicole said...

I am so, so sorry. Prayer offered.

applesofgold said...

I'm so late reading this....on a whim tonight I came to check your blog and read this horrific thing that has happened. Oh my gosh I am so so sorry that this has happened to your sweet little girl. I'm praying for you and her....and for the little guy that did this to her....I'm praying that eventually he understands what he did is simply unthinkable and unacceptable, and that eventually The Girl will be able to extend forgiveness to him.

Linda said...

This is so horrible!!! I'm so sorry this happened and praying for healing for your daughter and you. There is such unimaginable pain in this world :(

Common Salt said...

My heart breaks for your mommy heart! Whispering prayers for her and you!

 

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