Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Ground hog War is ON!


So, I come to you with a theme I am quickly getting tired of this summer.

The ground hogs want to eat all of my garden. I, in turn, do not want them to. I want them to go away and live in the woods the way God meant all happy ground hogs to do. I also want them to not scare the snot out of me as I stand barefoot in my yard and they tear around almost running over my toes and almost making me kick one with my bare feet.

So this is the deal. The ground hogs are everywhere here. I can count 30 while driving on base, in less then 15 minutes. They are the plague of Ft Dix. No, scratch that. The sign outside of Ft. Dix says, "Home of the Ultimate Weapon." Well, being an AF wife living on an Army Post I have no clue what the Ultimate Weapon is BUT I am beginning to believe that it is the Ground Hog. The Army should enlist them ALL!

So, I have a mid-size white vinyl slated fence here and I have put in several gardens in the back yard inside this fence. I quickly learned that I would need to do more to save my garden so I bought chicken wire fencing and put that around all of the Veggie gardens. I am not found of chicken wire fencing in my backyard cause it looks like I live on a farm. IF I had the privilege of living on a farm I would not care, but I don't. I live in housing on a military base and trust me, there is little about it that is FARM like. My neighbors, though nice, are very, very close to me.

Anyhow... so I put in chicken wire. I put in metallic pin wheels to confuse them and perhaps hypnotize them or something. It didn't work.

For a while, it kept them out of the veggies and they lived on my decorative sweet potato vines. They carefully plucked each and every leaf and left skeletons in the pots on my patio. I mourned the loss and put them up higher to see if they would come back.

THEN the buggers decided to just throw their little bodies against the chicken wire fences in pure desperation. I am mean aren't I? I let them SEE the yummy green beans but they are not allowed to touch the yummy green beans. They bent the fences down enough to run in the gardens and have a party in the early morning today.

The garden was very sad this morning when I went to check on it. It cried and told me how the ground hog vikings came and pillaged and plundered and stole the children away as slaves... or something like that. MY children, in turn, decided to find weapons and sit watch in the yard. For real. My Boy got a piece of wood, an old fence post or something and decided to call it a machete. Uh huh... My daughter got a child size garden hoe. Nice. My garden crusaders are sitting watch.

I have put in ANOTHER call for housing to come and trap them. I think there are at least 5 of them that live in our back field, but I think one of them has set up home under my shed.

I am wishing I DID live on a farm so I could purchase a 22 and blast them all. I did prove at cub scout camp recently that I am a good shot! MUAHAHAHAHA. Yes. I would do it. They are no where near endangered. Do they taste good?

With all my veggies in them they must.

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